What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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