paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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