i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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