I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
my poor anus
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
