Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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