Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
