did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
