That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
