Its about making memories worth repressing
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
