His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
