apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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