Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize