I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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