i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I think I won the penis lottery.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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