Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
