omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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