it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We named our party play list daddy issues
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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