just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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