My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
