remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just had sex on a roof
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
