on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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