I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
