ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
