omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
