his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Alive.
So much puke
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
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