Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
