well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
