Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
