I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
