I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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