Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
