I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I want to fling myself into the sun
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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