I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
