some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
