Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
