Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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