How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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