i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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