it was like his penis was on wheels.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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