just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Let's get the cat blown out
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
