the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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