so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
