i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
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