Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
one two three fourrrrnication!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
