I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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