Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
