you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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