well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
