did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
