Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
