Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
