was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
