im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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