Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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