Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
