I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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