Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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