And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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