it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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